Finally.......I think....

After four visits from a British Telecom engineer, about fifteen phone calls to the useless operatives at Sky TV, about three months with internet access ranging from rubbish to non-existent, and a partridge in a pear tree; I can confirm that I am now officially.....

.....fanfare please.....

.....back online!!

It's been a nightmare. Not only have I had a severely limited chance of chatting to (or should that be talking at?) you lovely people, there have also been those many other practical things (paying bills, checking bank account) which I have been unable to do. It's true; I am now officially a man of 'the net' and would struggle to survive without it. Fortunately, it's now back; and so am I!

Plenty to talk about over what I suspect will be the next two years plus, so I'll break you in gently. For now I will just say that I have already run in to the first of many challenges along the way when going for a swim this evening. The pool was heaving, leaving no room for my pathetic version of front crawl (in every sense of the last word). All I need is a straight line to follow, but it was a total mess of people swimming like Ian stuffing Thorpe (that is his middle name), people floating and hoping for the current of the pool to 'waft' them to the other end, and my own personal favourites, the people who stand in the pool to have a chat!; are a couple of chairs in the bar not conventional enough or do they just enjoy getting in the way??!

Yes, there may have been - as some newly-wet swimmers proved - the possibility of weaving in amongst the flotsam and jetsam, but one of the issues with my current level of front crawl prevents me from seeing where I am going; and even if I could I think I would struggle to change direction.

I am sure I will get better, but I am currently trying to squeeze in 4-5 swimming sessions a week and need to schedule them so it is not too busy in the pool. SO, tomorrow morning will be the first (and possibly last) 6am session. Yes, 6am; in the morning. I used to do the early gym start thing a long time ago and once I got used to it, it was fine and even enjoyable.......

.....once I got used to it.

Well, that's the plan anyway; but when I am woken up by the clock radio and have to get up before Chris Evans is anywhere near the studio, it is not going to be pleasant.

Never mind; at least I have the weigh-in to look forward to tomorrow......

......CRAP!!!!!

My Friends......My Friends.......!

Well this is what they most sarcastically term a 'blummin' good start'. Bet you thought I was never coming back did you? Hope you haven't given up on me.

Yes, yes; I know. I am a very bad person for rewarding such loyalty and continued interest with....well....nothing. I do however have a reasonable excuse in that I have been without internet access - or indeed phone line -  at home for most of 2014. It is not a story which at the moment I have either the time or inclination to go through; suffice it to say that I will as soon as possible be changing my internet provider and kicking Sky and all its wonderfully expensive channels into touch. I am not a violent person but if I could have reached through my mobile and grabbed the throat of the guy I was talking to........have you ever seen Road House??

It is a strange feeling of disconnection to be disconnected. Not pleasant; especially for me who manages a lot of things - not just this blog - on the net. Yep; it's true that you don't realise the value of something until you are without it. I am having to squeeze the basics (paying bills, balancing the bank accounts, checking e-mails) in my lunch half-hour and the odd Costa Coffee. I sincerely regret that that doesn't leave a lot of time for us. It may be good for us both if we went and saw other blogs......

Just kidding; I don't want you to go, but at the same time it is going to get pretty tedious if you keep popping in to the same two (now three) blog posts aren't you?

I promise you I will be back, and hopefully soon. I have been assured that 'they' (whoever 'they' are) are on the case and it is only now a matter of days (not encouraging; it could be 365 days!) before I am back online; in the meantime I will update what I can when I can. There are certainly things to be said; good job really.

Oh and if you're worried that you might be missing out on my spectacular weight loss; don't. It's spectacular, it involves a weight change.....but it ain't a loss........